Personal Days by Ed Park

Author:Ed Park
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781588367310
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2008-05-13T04:00:00+00:00

It was like some supercondensed commentary on the history of Europe.

All of Pru’s apostrophes turned into ™s, a chilling foretaste of the future of intellectual property law.

With Crease’s e-mails, all the dashes became question marks, so he had to remember to go through his correspondence before clicking Send and change every dash to a period, colon, or ellipses. Otherwise he wound up sounding like a Valley Girl.

Jonah complained that his period key wasn’t working. He sent his wafty prose to Lizzie, who inserted full stops wherever they felt right. Jonah called his laptop a craptop. He’d been after them for months to get him a replacement. The Sprout said he could buy one himself and expense it, but Jonah knew that if he did he would never see that money again.

II (G) ii: Worse, Jonah’s Mexican distress frog was still missing. He turned his office upside down. Who would want to steal it? Maybe it had absorbed so much grimness that it had no choice but to hop away. Even totems had their limits. The loss of the Mexican distress frog was itself distressing. Added to everything else, it was too much, and Jonah took a day off—a bonus personal day he squeezed out of the Sprout in recognition of putting in so much overtime.

II (G) iii: These days the Sprout was barely in his office. Was he upstairs, hashing out the numbers with K. and Maxine? Out west, negotiating with the Californians? Or simply at home, staring at his hands and drinking gin?

II (G) iv: Pru made what would universally be regarded as the most significant discovery in The Jilliad, in the middle of Chapter 5:

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